I can’t do it alone–and I was never meant to.

I went to a women’s retreat last month. I went with the idea that I was doing pretty well spiritually and wasn’t sure what God had for me, but I knew it would be good!

What I didn’t expect was a revelation. (Ha. I don’t know why I didn’t expect that…that’s silly.)

As I was sitting in the first evening meeting during worship time my shoulders began feeling very heavy and they started hurting. I rolled my oils on as I normally do to help relieve the discomfort, but the Lord spoke to me in that moment and it unraveled me.

“You carry too much weight and burden on your shoulders, my dear. You can’t do this alone, and I am here to take this from you.”

Now let me just start with, I swear I had no idea I was carrying so much alone. I will admit it all gets heavy–the responsibilities, the IEP and various other Autism meetings, the businesses, the ministries, family, and attempting to find time to make and keep friends, keeping a house. It all feels heavy sometimes.

I thought I was handling it well, but it turns out I was just storing it and stuffing it down. God would invite me to give it to Him and I would say, “No no! It’s okay God! I can do this! You wired me for this!” But that weekend He smiled at me and said, “No, you don’t have this, but I do.”

I let the tears flow during worship and I knew from that moment things had to change. I wasn’t sure (and still don’t really know) how to do that, but I knew I needed to try something.

I’ve been working on releasing expectations. I also have been trying to see circumstances as they truly are. I tend to say something isn’t hard because I can see myself overcoming it so I just tackle it face first. I don’t always count the cost or realize that even if it is what God has called me to or wired me for, I was never meant to shoulder it by myself.

It is wired in our DNA to need Him. Every inch of us needs a Savior. Our bodies, our souls, our spirit. We cannot do this without Him. He is the breath in my lungs when I feel like I just can’t breathe. He is the strength in my bones when I just don’t think I can go on anymore. He is the warmth I feel when I realize just how much He loves me…or when He gives me a glimpse of how much He loves the person in front of me.

Does this resonate with you? Have you been feeling like this? Do you know how much He wants to remove the burden from you as well? I pray today you feel a fresh outpouring of love from Him. Or maybe if you don’t already know Him, I pray that He will make Himself known to you in a way you cannot deny.

Another name for God is “El Roi”, which means “The God who sees me.” The first person to call Him that in the Bible was an Egyptian slave woman named Hagar. She had just been used and abused by her masters to create an heir and then because she was successful and actually got pregnant when the wife couldn’t, the wife was absolutely awful to her so she ran away. Hagar was in the middle of the desert. Alone. Carrying so much burden. And an angel of the Lord appeared to her and told her to go home, but that God would bless her with more descendants than she would be able to count. He said, “The Lord has heard your cry of distress.” In that moment she used God’s new name: El Roi. The God who sees me.

God sees you. God sees me. He is with us in the midst of all the hard and all the heavy. But we don’t have to walk around hunched over from the weight of it all. We can exchange that baggage for a lightness and a peace and a JOY that will carry us through any and everything…hand in hand with Him. Amen.

If I can pray for you about this (or anything), please comment or use the contact page to email me! My heart is for you. 💕

Blessings,
~Nikki