What is a Woman?

I have never had a daughter before…and I’m learning so much.

Having a girl is cracking me open in ways I never knew I could.

I grew a LOT with my boys, but whoa Nelly I’m growing like a wild weed on a hot July day with this lil’ gal.

She’s teaching me so much about femininity. About strength. About what it means to be a woman.

I erased so much of my own femininity to protect myself growing up, but she’s reminding me that it’s okay to be a woman. That it’s safe for that part of me to come out of hiding. That it’s strong and powerful to be a woman. That there’s nothing weak about it.

I see the Divine in her design. Her curves that are already in place since birth. Her soft, squishy tummy that will hopefully one day house my grandchildren. I never knew that women’s bellies were so soft and squishy coming out of the womb! I was used to firm bellies from my boys. I remember the day I realized this and I exclaimed “Oh!” to my own mother. At first I thought something was wrong! Haha. But of course there’s a soft space there. Soft, yet not weak…full of power in her ability to give life.

Women are designed physically, emotionally, and spiritually to be different than men. Not less than, but equal to. Man is her covering spiritually, but woman is a sight to behold all on her own. She is powerful on her own. But as man and woman together, wow. The power is unmatchable. It’s Divine. And together they bring great glory to the God/Trinity they were created in the image of.

For most of my life I believed women were weak. They were only powerful when they used their sexuality. It made me sick to my stomach and I wanted no part of being a woman. I envied men and their natural power. For many years I actually wished I would have been born a man. For the power. For the security. For the safety. For the protection.

But over the years God is healing me and teaching me what a woman really was designed to be. And He’s showing me even more through my daughter.

I might not wear dresses daily from now on. I may not even wear my hair down or wear expensive jewelry. But that’s okay because those things are not what make up the essence of a woman.

I am deeply feminine in my t-shirt and shorts and tangled mane tied up in a tight bun. Covered in dirt and barefoot. I cannot NOT be feminine. It’s wired into the fabric of my DNA. Every cell inside of me screams WOMAN. And I am learning how to settle into that…how to be proud to be a woman.

I remember when my daughter was in my womb, I could FEEL the feminine “energy”. I know Christians don’t like that word, but God is literally all energy and He used energy to create our bodies and everything around us. So I’m not speaking woo woo things here. Anyways, I could feel the difference between her and my boys. I am deeply in tune with my body and the Spirit and I knew. I knew they were men and I knew she was a woman. There’s a clear divide.

And it’s absolutely stunning.

I love this season of my life! 😍

Blessings,

-Nikki