Neurodivergence/Autism vs Vaccine Injury

Before we dive into this topic, I want to start by saying that I am well aware that what I’m about to say is mostly an opinion. But I do have some of the resources I remember to share at the end of this post that I have discovered on my journey with Autism over the last year. I must confess, part of my own neurodivergence means I process information faster than I can keep a paper trail of. 😬 So I’ll do my best to find the bigger pieces, but otherwise this is completely an opinion piece based on the countless hours of researching I have done. I have also spent the last 9 months immersed in both the “Autism Moms” and “Actually Autistic” worlds. I am a mother of officially diagnosed Autistic children (2 boys that present very differently) and I am also being evaluated for Autism myself. I am also a very strong Christian that does not believe we need to “pray away Autism”…but you’ll have to keep reading for more on that. I have vaccinated both of my children, but have done extensive research over the last 6 years and will no longer be vaccinating them. (More on that later in this piece as well.) So as we go on this journey together, you now have some context about where I’m coming from. I’m not a fan of getting excited about a blog post only to discover an agenda midway through and have wasted my time. So I’m being up front about my stances now so that you can decide for yourself if you want to keep reading. My only agenda here is to inform you of what I have discovered on my journey and share where I personally have landed in all of it. And hopefully begin to shed some light on the differences between neurodivergence, Autism, and vaccine injury.

The first thing we need to do is establish definitions of each topic so that you will know how I see each thing as we discuss it.

Neurodiversity: The term neurodiversity refers to variation in the human brain regarding sociability, learning, attention, mood and other mental functions. It was coined in 1998 by Australian sociologist Judy Singer, (who was Autistic herself!) who helped popularize the concept along with American journalist Harvey Blume. (Definition from a Wikipedia article.) While at this time there is no widely accepted scientific basis for this concept, it is being studied throughout the world — especially in Australia. (See a TedTalk snippet below to hear some of the studies being done…specifically around communication between neurodivergent and neurotypical (non-neurodivergent) folks.)

My own opinion/beliefs about neurodiversity: I am a firm believer that God created many different kinds of people. This means different brain wiring, different gifts and talent and abilities, different ways of communicating, different ways of learning and different ways of experiencing the world. I believe neurodivergent folks have been around forever, but because of societal norms, they were treated as mentally ill, handicapped/disabled, socially inappropriate, and many spent their lives withering away in mental hospitals. When I was growing up back in the 80s/90s, it was seen as “weirdos and losers” or having “major behavioral problems”. Still social rejection, just fewer mental hospitals. (I might even go as far as to suggest that rejection of neurodivergent people may have led to some school shootings. But I would need to research this more before I could say one way or another.)

We also need to discuss the spiritual side of neurodiversity. In one of my assessments for Autism, I was given a pre-screener that consisted of 567 true or false questions. I have taken plenty of personality profiles/mental health assessments in my day to see right through one. (Because the on-going message for neurodivergent people is that we are broken and in need of fixing, but we never fully know what is actually wrong with us!) And I could tell immediately what they were screening me for. Instead of questions about Autistic traits/behaviors (though some do coincide), I was being asked questions that screen for things like paranoia, schizophrenia, depression, and more. One of the questions I was asked was around seeing visions. This would normally coincide with schizophrenia. However, there’s nothing like that “wrong” with me. I actually do have visions often about Heaven, things to come, etc. This is not a defect in me, it’s a spiritual gift! I will say that I choose to “partner with the Light” which means my gifts are utilized for Heaven/good. But there are many folks that have this gift but likely do not have a relationship with Jesus and have partnered with the dark side and are being tormented by it. (See my earlier comment about school shootings.) This is a very watered down explanation, but I’m trying to make it as easy to understand as possible. I believe this “dark side partnership”, knowingly or unknowingly, is the stuff we see as schizophrenia. Again, this is a topic for another day. But I wanted to address the different wiring and spiritual gifts/aspect of all of this. As a Christian, I cannot leave it out of this. I recognize my opinion and research here is going to alienate many, but my hope is to take these pieces and put together a full picture. The Christian Church needs to begin to understand the differences so they can fully embrace all of God’s children without heaping unnecessary judgment on people. I’ll have more coming on this for the Church very soon!

Autism Spectrum Disorder: a developmental disorder of variable severity that is characterized by difficulty in social interaction and communication and by restricted or repetitive patterns of thought and behavior. (Taken from a generic Google definition.)

My opinion on Autism: Okay, so I think we have to separate some things out here. The world views Autism as a disorder and does not take into account the neurodiversity aspect of it. They are quick to view an Autistic person as disabled and want to quickly “fix” all the wrong parts as early as possible. (They call this “early intervention”.) I do agree that any child can struggle (every human struggles in some way!!) with developmental challenges such as speech issues, fine motor skills, even social interaction to an extent. I think these things do need to be addressed and caught at an early age so the child can have the best life possible! But unfortunately what happens is the neurodivergence gets lumped into ASD because these folks commonly struggle in these areas — for any number of reasons…not only how they are wired. (I honestly think we can also say the same for ADD/ADHD here.) And instead of recognizing and honoring their unique design — communication preference, self-expression, spiritual gifts, learning style, etc — they are seen as different and in need of “fixing”. So they lump all of that into the disorder and utilize harmful therapies to make them conform. (This does not include healthier therapies like occupational therapy or speech therapy.) Things like forcing eye contact, muting stimulation (my son does “happy hands” when he’s super excited!), medicating emotional sensitivity and squashing spiritual gifts are what I personally view as harmful to an individual. I will say, I do believe that many therapists and scientists do this because they believe they are helping the child/adult. They “don’t know any better”. But this does not excuse the abuse (yes, I do see many forms of this as abuse) and the lasting trauma it creates for these children. And we haven’t even talked about all the neurodivergent adults in the world right now that may not even realize they aren’t broken and are living with all the trauma from folks rejecting their unique and perfect design! And the worst trauma of all…the full rejection of self.

I do believe there’s a disorder part to all of this. When we are so stuck in the rigidity or OCD tendencies, or we really struggle and get stuck, major mental/emotional issues that are not because of rejection of their design, or there are physical issues that require constant care, I see these things as debilitating and in need of more tools. That’s when I believe a disorder diagnosis should kick in — when more help is needed to be able to function daily than can be achieved on their own. And this is true of many Autistic folks. But I also believe that not all Autistic folks should be labeled “disabled”. And I do not believe Autism should be their identity. Neurodivergence is really a more appropriate term. I believe this is why the “Autism Moms” culture is constantly trying to find solutions to help/heal/fix their Autistic children. (I am overgeneralizing here to make a point. Not everyone feels or lives this way. But it is the overall arching view I have seen of both sides.) I think there’s a disconnect between what they are “praying” against and what an “Actually Autistic” person is hurt by. An Actually Autistic person wants to be loved and accepted for who they are (their neurodivergence) and an “Autism Mom” wants to see the issues they struggle with lessened so they can live a full life. But you have some Autistic folks that believe their suffering and disabilities are their identity, and you have some Autism Moms that don’t understand or believe in neurodivergence and this is where the breakdown begins in our culture. This is why we do not refer to our family as having Autism, and we do not claim the disorder part. (My kids are not disordered! They have struggles, yes, but both have already exceeded all expectations of their growth! They — and I — just needed more tools!) We will always just say that we are Autistic or neurodivergent because it helps us connect to neurodivergent folks like us without claiming disorder. (We will say this until the term “neurodivergent” catches on. 😉) I’m not speaking solely in first person here because I have not been formally diagnosed and I’m not entirely sure they’ll diagnose me because I’ve had 36 years to learn coping skills and I’m an extremely quick learner and live by a thousand different systems to help me function, so I’m likely not going to be seen as disabled. Because I’m not! If they had the diagnosis of “neurodivergent” that would make more sense. But I honestly have only sought out a formal Autism diagnosis so that I can continue to advocate credibly and connect with people that identify that way and they can see that I’m “officially” like them and really do speak their language. That I understand the lifetime of disconnect and pain. Though in the Actually Autistic world, they understand how hard it is to get a diagnosis as an adult and they are very loving and accepting regardless. So I guess I’m doing it more for the other side that is offended by everything and everyone. But that’s also another post.

I think what people really need to know is that they are neurodivergent, not broken. And if the medical world was set up properly, (shoot, if schools and society in general were set up the right way!) there would be a way for someone to know this and be supported in it and the ASD label would be saved for extreme cases that needed more help. Many Autistic folks don’t need a medical diagnosis with no supports on the other side anyways. They need training programs and life support programs to be able to learn how to confidently be who they are! They need to know that neurodivergence is real and they need society to begin to make space for them. But we have a long ways to go before this will happen. I also want to add, I’m not sure at this point that a person could be Autistic and not be neurodivergent. The core characteristics of Autism include more factors than just developmental issues. And that’s why I do not believe vaccines can cause Autism…because they do not cause neurodivergence. That’s a wiring we are born with. (We also need to remember that there are MANY families in this world that have not ever vaccinated their children (in or out of the womb) and they still are diagnosed with Autism.

Vaccine Injury:

4 things (or more!) can be true: 1. Someone can be Autistic (meaning neurodivergent). 2. Someone can be neurodivergent and not be Autistic (ADHD/etc). 3. Someone can be vaccine injured and present as Autistic but not actually be. 4. Someone can be Autistic/neurodivergent and be vaccine injured which could cause their challenges, sensory issues, and medical issues to be far greater/more intense.

It’s important to recognize that there are many many things that can happen here. While vaccines have been around for many years, they are not 100% effective and they have been known to cause harm. (We are beginning to witness this firsthand with the new Covid-19 vaccine.) I’m not here to convince you to become anti-vax. I’m just sharing this basic concept so that we can all agree that vaccine injury can and does happen. It’s science and science is never 100% in this area because every human body is unique.

That being said, I think we need to tread very lightly when saying that vaccine injury can cause Autism. Remember, the likelihood that a vaccine could cause neurodivergence is basically impossible. Could it pull out/highlight someone’s neurodivergence? Absolutely! But that means it was already there all along. And it means that person had a major reaction to it that caused them to move more into the ASD/disorder realm. I do believe some of those effects can be healed or lessened with better diet, the right supplements, therapies even. But we have to be careful not to confuse healing the disordered parts of folks with healing neurodivergence. If you’re upset because your child has been non-verbal their whole lives, you may be focusing on something that isn’t meant to be “healed.” They still communicate! I have said it many times…many folks that are non-verbal may not be able to tell you how they feel with words, but put them in front of a piano or a paintbrush or any number of things and they’ll communicate. I say, embrace it. Embrace the fullness of who they are. If they can or want to become verbal in their lives, it will come. But forcing it because you want it for them or because you can’t handle the idea of your child being different is not okay. I said that pretty directly, but I know many Autism Parents that hyper focus on fixing their child instead of learning to celebrate them so I needed to say that.

Let’s talk about the Autism Moms that claim they cured their child of Autism. I have two theories about that.

1. The child was never neurodivergent to begin with. They likely had something going on in their body that was mimicking the disorders associated with Autism and they called it Autism. This happens a lot. The number one thing I see in comment threads about vaccine injury is, “My child became non-verbal.” That’s the baseline they use to diagnose Autism. (And sadly many parents self-diagnose, not having a clear understanding of what Autism actually is.) That’s not neurodivergence or even Autism because remember, someone cannot be Autistic without being neurodivergent based on the core criteria we currently have for diagnosing Autism. When science/medicine catches up and neurodivergence and disorders are all separated out, maybe that will be a possibility. But right now, it’s not. There’s definitely something going on with the child, but it’s not accidental neurodivergence.

2. (And this one breaks my heart the most.) The child is actually still neurodivergent but has successfully completed all harmful therapies and are likely masking (hiding) their true neurodivergent self. 😭 There’s a chance maybe they completed healthy therapies and are no longer struggling with the disordered side of neurodivergence, but that doesn’t negate their beautiful design! They were never taught how to be who they really are, so they are very easily headed for a major mental breakdown later in life, as I personally have experienced.

When I discovered my neurodivergence, I went through a MAJOR reframing season. I began seeing memory after memory like a movie reel of every time there was a communication breakdown and I took it in as my fault but was actually never known or celebrated for my unique communication style. Or the times I had major “emotional episodes” that looked like depression but was actually me having sensory overload and just needing to be quiet. I suspect I also fall a bit on the side of what the world calls “ADHD” but I choose to say that I am a high energy person on purpose. Sure has its challenges, but I’m not broken. I’m perfectly designed and just needed to discover and learn about my design so I could begin to get the tools I needed, learn how to love myself, and thrive! This is the process I have seen many many adults begin to walk through this year. And I have seen a great awakening in the neurodivergent community. It’s beautiful. People waking up to their true design…giving themselves permission to pursue that “weird” career they always wanted and creating mind-blowing resources because of it.

People say all the time that “Autism is on the rise!” And they freak out like it’s an epidemic. I have actually seen book titles and people actually say that we need to heal the “Epidemic of Autism”. I cannot describe how sick to my stomach that made me. Of COURSE it’s on the rise…neurodivergent people are finally learning that they are human!!!! It’s HUGE. And exciting. What an exciting time to be alive! I also think this might be why folks keep saying, “Aren’t we all on the Spectrum a little bit?” The answer to that is yes, and no. Haha. Yes because we do have many things in common!! No because neurodivergence is really a type of person. It’s like having a person type A and type B…and probably a type C and D and E and AC and DE and… So in that aspect, we could all be seen as neurodivergent because we are all created so uniquely and beautifully! One type is not better than the other. We are all vital here on this Earth and we all have our roles to play. Gifts to give. But we can’t do that if we are all constantly comparing ourselves and judging each other. We really need to truly learn to coexist as equals. Tough, I know. I’m ever the optimist though. 😉

In conclusion, I just want to say that I hope that my research has been helpful to you, and that if you are neurodivergent, you’ll see that you can be a fully functioning human that is HAPPY being 100% who you are, regardless of if the world is ready for you yet! And if you fall on the “Autism Mom/Parent” side, I hope this helped give you some context around your child, and that you will continue to find ways to celebrate your beautiful child! And if you fall on the vaccine injured side, I hope you’ll know that my heart aches for the pain you’ve experienced, and I cannot pretend to know what you’ve gone through. And I hope you see that your child likely isn’t Autistic or that perhaps you pushing their healing in an area might actually be damaging to their mental health. But I hope you never give up wanting the best for your child and wanting to find ways to give them their best lives! Just don’t fully lose yourself in that process.

I’m thankful that whatever side of the line you fall, that you’ve read this far and hopefully are open to growing into a more neurodivergent-friendly world!

Blessings,

~Nikki

Resources:

–Fabulous TedTalk about how everything we know about Autism is wrong.

–More posts about our personal Autism journey. These are along the way, so I have learned quite a bit since writing them, but I think it’s helpful to see the process!

-Amazing article on Neurodiversity in the Church.

-Some awesome Neurodiversity stuff happening at Stanford University.

-Very in depth article from Scientific American about Disease, Disorder, and Differences around Autism and Neurodiversity.

-Incredibly written piece that summarizes Why Scientific Research Supports a Neurodiversity Model of Autism

-The prophetic word I released back in July 2019 about God Raising Up a Generation of Autistic/Neurodivergent people for His purposes.

–My favorite resource for learning about Autistic/Neurodivergent people and how to help them be successful while preserving their identity.