21 Days of Breaking Up With Food – The Daniel Fast

On Sunday I broke up with food and coffee.

Okay, technically I started the process of breaking up with them last week. I needed to slowly wean myself off of them so that the impact wouldn’t be so bad.

But it was bad. So so bad.

Turns out my body didn’t like the idea of me giving up sugar, dairy, meat, eggs, and caffeine all at once. Turns out it kind of made me a nasty bear that nobody wanted to come near. I legitimately hid in my house as often as I could and stayed in the kitchen away from my children so that I wouldn’t interact negatively with them.

Turns out breaking up with everything you’ve ever known about food and nutrition is kind of the worst.

Turns out I was more addicted to it all then I wanted to let on — or even admit to myself.

I found myself wondering how on Earth did I get myself into this mess anyways?! Oh, right. The church is doing the Daniel Fast and I wanted to be a part of what God is doing there. Oh, okay. For a cause…I can do this. (That’s what I told myself…but God has big plans for us, doesn’t He?)

But I really didn’t comprehend what I was saying, “Yes” to. I didn’t realize that I was going to trigger so hardcore and freak out a lot inside.

Over the last few years I have been learning more and more about nutrition. And I have learned that the carb-rich diet I have grown up eating wasn’t serving my body. In fact, a lot of why I am overweight is because I actually wasn’t eating enough. Starvation mode, is what they call that. Eat the carbs because they are cheap (you can feed an army off a few packages of spaghetti noodles and a couple cans of sauce, am I right?), skimp on protein, gain. gain. gain. Repeat.

And of course through my college/early adult years it was binging. So. Much. Binging. There wasn’t anyone there to stop me, and I was eating emotionally all the time. And of course I binged on the things my body hated the absolute most. Pizza. Macaroni and Cheese. All the sugar and sugary drinks. I was not kind to my body. I didn’t really, truly know how — and to be honest, I probably wouldn’t have wanted to. I just wasn’t there yet.

But as an adult I have found so much healing for my heart, and as I have healed from the inside out, my body is now finally getting the overflow attention. But this time it’s so much sweeter. There’s a kindness I have for my body that I never carried before.

Somewhere around the Saturday mark, I hit my all-time low and thought for sure I was going to explode. It was in this moment that I just stopped and poured out my heart to Jesus. I explained why this was so hard for me, what I was afraid of, and I repeatedly reminded Him that I hated this. But at the very end of the vent session, I took a deep breath and humbled myself. I raised the white flag and surrendered. I was finally ready to submit to this process and whatever the Lord had for me in the next 21 days.

The next day, I was a brand new woman. (Ironically, that was the day the fast actually started!) All the anger and frustration and rage I had been feeling was just gone. I felt like myself again and I was ever so grateful. I don’t know if I just passed the detox mark, or perhaps my surrender was my breakthrough, but regardless, it feels really good.

Now that I have embraced this fast and new way of eating (even if some of it is just temporary), I have finally found freedom! I have also found creative freedom as well! I’m like a top chef in my own kitchen these days — just whizzing around and snapping tongs like a boss. Okay, but really, since I have let go of control and my mindsets around what food should look like… Okay let’s pause for a minute.

Guys. I have eaten eggs for breakfast probably my whole life. I honestly had no idea what else to do for breakfast to be able to get protein. That was actually a MAJOR source of triggering for me! And to be honest, the Lord asked me to give up eggs last summer for a little bit and I actually said no. 🙁 I very rarely say no to Jesus, but clearly my breakfast mindset had a ridiculous hold on me. I couldn’t fathom eating BEANS for breakfast…that seemed more like a dinner food! But this morning I made this delicious breakfast hash with, you guessed it, black beans. You guys…the glory that fell from Heaven on my breakfast hash this morning was incredible. I’m actually drooling right now as I recall it! Haha.

As I press in and push through, the Lord is showing me that He wants me to be free in eating…completely free. And He obviously wants me to choose to eat healthier foods. I have made a lot of excuses about why we couldn’t eat healthier, but this fast has already eliminated all of those excuses. The only thing that was left were all the mindsets and places that needed deep healing. I feel good now that I’ve tackled those. Surrender is really, really beautiful.

Over the coming days/weeks I’ll be sharing more of my journey. I’ll also share recipes and different things I’m learning/trying in the nutrition department, that way those of you doing the fast as well can get some ideas!

Breaking up with food was one of the best things I’ve ever done. I can’t wait to see what happens over the next few weeks!

Blessings,
~Nikki